Can't get to heaven

In 2001, after getting suspended from the SUNY Purchase Film Conservatory, I shot this video over the course of about two weeks during which I didn't sleep at all and was frequently tripping on Robitussin. By the end of the shooting, I had been arrested, jailed for 3 days, then involuntarily committed to a mental hospital for about a month (the first of many times that that happened to me). There is much to say about  the experience, most of which is, I think, impossible to describe or document. Anyway, when I got out, I edited the footage using a VCR and a camcorder. This is one of those deeply personal works that's really embarrassing to show people, but seems (partly for that reason) important to keep unconcealed.